Telemarketer: Is Mr. Dean available?

Mrs. Dean: I'm sorry, he is no longer with us. He was in a car accident and suffered a fractured skull and died instantly.

Telemarketer: If he died instantly, then he didn't really suffer, now did he?

Hello

My name is Devin. I also like to party.

hello.

Let's introduce ourselves by saying our names and something about us:

I'm Jon and I like to party.

TOP 10 REASONS MY ROOMMATE NEEDS TO COME OUT OF HIS ROOM AND HANG OUT

11. Yuletide Boobs
10. Russians. Europeans
9. Old Asses
8. Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
7. No Asians Here (except Jason Chae)
6. Hulkamania
5. Christina Vagina
4. Velociraptors Might Attack You
3. We Want to Order Pizza. You In?
2. Russell Crowe
1. Only Girls Talk On the Phone

TOP 10 OUTFITS FOR THE MONKEY I WILL EVENTUALLY BUY, MAYBE

12. Prisoner
11. Vampire
10. Julius Caesar
9. Jason Chae
8. Genghis Khan
7. Sailor
6. Cowboy
5. Cop
4. Native American
3. Pancho Villa
2. Civil War General
1. Hugh Hefner