Anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely love this show. I love it with all my heart. It is so crazy and entertaining and CRAZY!!!! Maybe Bill Simmons has already talked about it, but I feel like I need to give my thoughts on each cast member of this season which has already seen the greatest fight ever in reality tv history.
Adam - This skinny motherfucker is from the Real World Paris, and just like that season, on this show he acted like a complete bitch. He got kicked off the show the first night for starting a fight with CT. I repeat, he started a fight with CT!!!!!! There are only 3 people in the world that I fear more than Ct, and those people are John Rambo, John Rambo, and John Rambo.
Brad - Congratulations son, you're a meathead.
CT - God among men. This immortal is out of his fucking mind, but in the best way ever. He fights, he drinks, he has sex with a girl who has cancer, he can bench press 8,000 pounds, and most importantly, he beat the shit out of Adam on the first night of the show. Sadly though, this got him the boot.
Davis - I need to tread lightly on this one. Davis is gay. He is also a kind of a bitch. Neither one has anything to do with the other. He is a bitch because he brings nothing to this show other than whining non-stop about nothing.
Derek - I have no idea who this motherfucker is.
Dunbar - I hate this walking steroid. He is white. He is angry. He never stops fucking whining. I actually hate him more than anyone of this cast. In fact, Dunbar, if I ever see you, I'm going to fucking kick you in the dick and I don't even care how big you get from all the steroids you use. His MTV bio says "But once back home, he and his girlfriend have made a real go at it and are still living together back in his hometown. He general manager of bar and restaurant operations at a casino and is developing a paddle sports-related non-profit organization." What a fucking tool.
Eric - "Big Easy" is the fat dude that on these shows. He really doesn't bring anything to the table, other than being the fat funny dude, except he really isn't funny. I did catch the commercial previewing next week's show though, and during the challenge, he yells "Owwwww, my nuts!"
Evan - Evan is a toolbag who is basically the mastermind behind all the scheming and voting people off. Yet I really don't have anything bad to say about him. He just plays the game, you know? Oh, and he is Canadian.
Isaac - My man Isaac is one of the Real World greats. He always seems to be on drugs, and to make things better, he isn't a dick about it. He is genuinely a funny dude. Congrats Isaac, you aren't a dick.
Landon - Landon however is a dick.
Mark - Old Man Winter Mark, is the oldest dude to ever be on television. Not just reality television, or MTV,
Nick - I have no idea who this motherfucker is.
Ryan - This dude loves to make out with chicks. He is gay. He has never said a funny thing in his life, ever.
Aneesa - Is this the girl from Real World Chicago that was annoying as shit? After checking on MTV.com/net, it is indeed this same annoying girl!
Brittini - I have no idea who this motherfucker is, other than she spells her name with 8 i's.
Brooke - Brooke is absolutely apeshit crazy, but I kind of find that sexy. Too bad she only makes out with gay dudes.
Diem - She once had cancer. She also once dated CT. She now is now pregnant with Damien aka Rosemary's Baby aka CT Jr.
Jenn - I always had a thing for Jenn. She maybe 4 ft 7, but I always thought she was hot. Too bad she is now a lesbian with fellow castmate Rachel.
Katie - This girl is awesome, solely on the fact that she bartends at the bar in Chicago that I used to go to because they had free wings. The bar though was full of douche bags. Brad would fit in.
Kimberly - This chick is tall, and pale. I hate tall, pale girls.
Tori - I don't know who the fuck this girl is, but she is a good looking girl. I guess she is engaged to Brad though. Congratulations girl, you're Mrs. Meathead.
Shauvon - I shouldn't know who this girl is, but I actually do remember her as the dumb bitch from Real World Sydney.
Ruthie - Girl, me and you are one and the same! We both had/have drinking problems. At least I didn't fuck one of those ug dudes from Black Eye Peas. Oh, sorry, that was your ug roomie Kyia or Kiya or whatever the fuck her name was.
Robin - Girl, your tits are huge, but all you do is cry. If I met you, I think I would try to holla, but I would stop talking to you after one minute of you crying about bullshit. You are an annoying human being.
Rachel - Girl/man....you rule. I would vote for you to win every challenge....except you actually kind of suck. You act tough as nails, but you ain't shit girl.
Paula - Dear Paula, I love you. You have fake tits, which i like. More than that though, you are fucking insane and have so many issues, which i love!!! Girl, if you need someone to treat you like shit, but then do a kind thing every once in awhile, although it doesn't make up for treating you like shit at all, then I am your man! By the way, I love you.
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